Jon Lajoie - Cold Blooded Christmas Lyrics

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Jon Lajoie - Cold Blooded Christmas Lyrics

It was late at night on Christmas eve
I was dreaming of the soft white snow
I was awoken by a noise near the Christmas tree
What it was I did not know

It was Santa Clause he was bringing me some gifts
Unfortunately I did not know that
So I quietly snuck up behind him
And I shot him five times in the back

It went Pow pow pow pow pow
He said "what the fuck ow ow ow"
Then I shot him three more times in the head
Pieces of his brain flew out and he was dead

That's when I noticed his blood-soaked beard
And his red suit filled with bullet holes
I said "oh my god I killed santa clause
I'm not going to jail for this asshole"

So I went to my shed and I got my saw
And I started to choppipty chop chop
I started with his arms then his legs then his head
And then the torso was a really long job

And the blood went spurt spurt spurt
It was really hard work work work
It was hard cutting through his spine
I must have vomited sixteen times

I burnt all the pieces in my fireplace
The smell of burning human flesh filled my nose
Eleven hours later there was nothing left
And that's when I heard my telephone

It was Auntie Jean looking for Uncle Bob
She said "He left the house dressed as Santa Clause
But he didn't come home last night
Have you seen him god I hope he's alright"




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Tags: was , pow , then , clause , santa , spurt , times , work , said , went


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View Lyrics Statistics


To wrote these lyrics, it was used:
Total words: 261
Total unique words: 137
Total symbols: 1555
Total unique symbols: 41
Unique symbols by count:
[space] - 349 times in lyrics
e - 108 times in lyrics
t - 92 times in lyrics
s - 75 times in lyrics
h - 74 times in lyrics
o - 71 times in lyrics
a - 69 times in lyrics
n - 64 times in lyrics
i - 61 times in lyrics
d - 43 times in lyrics
l - 41 times in lyrics
r - 38 times in lyrics
w - 38 times in lyrics
m - 27 times in lyrics
u - 25 times in lyrics
I - 25 times in lyrics
g - 19 times in lyrics
p - 18 times in lyrics
f - 17 times in lyrics
c - 14 times in lyrics
y - 13 times in lyrics
b - 13 times in lyrics
k - 12 times in lyrics
A - 7 times in lyrics
" - 6 times in lyrics
v - 6 times in lyrics
' - 5 times in lyrics
S - 5 times in lyrics
C - 4 times in lyrics
T - 3 times in lyrics
H - 3 times in lyrics
B - 2 times in lyrics
U - 2 times in lyrics
j - 2 times in lyrics
P - 2 times in lyrics
J - 1 time in lyrics
E - 1 time in lyrics
x - 1 time in lyrics
- - 1 time in lyrics
W - 1 time in lyrics
q - 1 time in lyrics


Case insensitive symbols by count:
[space] - 349 times in lyrics
e - 109 times in lyrics
t - 95 times in lyrics
i - 86 times in lyrics
s - 80 times in lyrics
h - 77 times in lyrics
a - 76 times in lyrics
o - 71 times in lyrics
n - 64 times in lyrics
d - 43 times in lyrics
l - 41 times in lyrics
w - 39 times in lyrics
r - 38 times in lyrics
u - 27 times in lyrics
m - 27 times in lyrics
p - 20 times in lyrics
g - 19 times in lyrics
c - 18 times in lyrics
f - 17 times in lyrics
b - 15 times in lyrics
y - 13 times in lyrics
k - 12 times in lyrics
" - 6 times in lyrics
v - 6 times in lyrics
' - 5 times in lyrics
j - 3 times in lyrics
q - 1 time in lyrics
- - 1 time in lyrics
x - 1 time in lyrics


Case insensitive words by count:
i - 19 times in lyrics
was - 12 times in lyrics
the - 10 times in lyrics
and - 8 times in lyrics
his - 7 times in lyrics
it - 7 times in lyrics
my - 6 times in lyrics
he - 6 times in lyrics
pow - 5 times in lyrics
him - 4 times in lyrics
then - 4 times in lyrics
clause - 3 times in lyrics
santa - 3 times in lyrics
not - 3 times in lyrics
ow - 3 times in lyrics
that - 3 times in lyrics
spurt - 3 times in lyrics
times - 3 times in lyrics
work - 3 times in lyrics
said - 3 times in lyrics
in - 3 times in lyrics
to - 3 times in lyrics
went - 3 times in lyrics
of - 3 times in lyrics
shot - 2 times in lyrics
head - 2 times in lyrics
filled - 2 times in lyrics
really - 2 times in lyrics
hard - 2 times in lyrics
have - 2 times in lyrics
left - 2 times in lyrics
chop - 2 times in lyrics
started - 2 times in lyrics
when - 2 times in lyrics
blood - 2 times in lyrics
god - 2 times in lyrics
for - 2 times in lyrics
pieces - 2 times in lyrics
with - 2 times in lyrics
night - 2 times in lyrics
so - 2 times in lyrics
know - 2 times in lyrics
christmas - 2 times in lyrics
did - 2 times in lyrics
what - 2 times in lyrics
smell - 1 time in lyrics
fireplace - 1 time in lyrics
all - 1 time in lyrics
burning - 1 time in lyrics
flesh - 1 time in lyrics
hours - 1 time in lyrics
eleven - 1 time in lyrics
nose - 1 time in lyrics
human - 1 time in lyrics
sixteen - 1 time in lyrics
cutting - 1 time in lyrics
on - 1 time in lyrics
job - 1 time in lyrics
long - 1 time in lyrics
through - 1 time in lyrics
spine - 1 time in lyrics
later - 1 time in lyrics
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at - 1 time in lyrics
must - 1 time in lyrics
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late - 1 time in lyrics
come - 1 time in lyrics
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but - 1 time in lyrics
as - 1 time in lyrics
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last - 1 time in lyrics
alright - 1 time in lyrics
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you - 1 time in lyrics
dressed - 1 time in lyrics
house - 1 time in lyrics
telephone - 1 time in lyrics
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eve - 1 time in lyrics
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auntie - 1 time in lyrics
jean - 1 time in lyrics
she - 1 time in lyrics
bob - 1 time in lyrics
uncle - 1 time in lyrics
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there - 1 time in lyrics
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soaked - 1 time in lyrics
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soft - 1 time in lyrics
legs - 1 time in lyrics
behind - 1 time in lyrics
dreaming - 1 time in lyrics
choppipty - 1 time in lyrics
white - 1 time in lyrics
jail - 1 time in lyrics
oh - 1 time in lyrics
holes - 1 time in lyrics
bullet - 1 time in lyrics
noise - 1 time in lyrics
by - 1 time in lyrics
awoken - 1 time in lyrics
snow - 1 time in lyrics
going - 1 time in lyrics
killed - 1 time in lyrics
torso - 1 time in lyrics










2018-06-21
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